Back to work tomorrow after a week off. Only just realised that I haven't really done much all week apart from play around with my new laptop oops. Might be dying at work all throughout the week. Especially by the fact that I don't have a holiday until I leave work at the end of July. It's going to be a long few months. But, I love the fact that it's so much lighter outside. Spring makes me so happy. In fact, things are really great at the moment and I just hope that nobody tries to ruin this happiness because it's nice.
(What even is this wall post, I don't even know)
- Resigned from Community Assistance
This is mainly due to the fact that I am more interested in TMA work and would like to ensure that I keep as much time for this. I haven't really felt motivated to complete CoA tasks for a while, so this was expected.
Everyone within CoA is so nice and extremely hardworking. I can't wait to see what will come from the team in the future and I really enjoyed my time there C:
Okay, so I've never talked about anything like this on my wall before. I think it would be useful for me to talk about the impact that being on here has made.
Back in May 2016, I left school. However, the 4 last years of school were probably some of the worst times ever. If you know me you'll know that I'm a very quiet person. Once I get to know people I feel a lot more comfortable. For my last 4 years of school, I had no friends at all. You'll often hear about people joking that they have no friends when in reality they do and they'll have people to hang out with. I literally had nobody. I would spend breaks in the library or stand in a corridor embarrassed and waiting for the next lesson to begin.
For the first few years of school, I didn't really have good friends, but I had people to sit beside at lunch and talk to. The more it went on, the more I felt as if I didn't belong in the group of people and they would just ignore me. That all stopped one day when I logged onto twitter to find one of the people who I sat with making tweets which were obviously stated at me and commented on how quiet I was and other things that I don’t want to comment on. For me, that was my worst nightmare. As soon as I saw those words, they hit me. I didn't want to sit with those people again. All of a sudden I had nobody and everything changed. Please please please think about what you post online. You never know how much of an impact that could have on someone's life. Those words made me have no confidence in myself and my ability to communicate with others. Ultimately, this affected my whole school experience and that person wasn’t even aware.
I remember the first day I spent lunchtime by myself. I couldn't even eat my lunch and had to go and sit in the library when it opened halfway through lunch. I would pretend to do revision and try to sneak bits of my food. I spent the whole of break and lunch scared. Scared that someone would say something. Scared that something would happen. I felt on edge the whole time and that was tiring. I would count down the minutes before the next break, wishing that it wouldn't come around. School is a place where everyone around you has friends or someone to talk to. Therefore, I felt even more alone and I remember wondering how I could ever cope with it and wishing that I could just make some new friends.
Up until I left school, that situation never changed. I became more used to it. It was difficult. Very difficult. Other people around me had a very different school experience. I would scroll through twitter looking at all the different experiences that others have and no matter how bad school was, it seemed better with somebody else. Hearing the bell go for the last ever lunch break on my last day of school was a sigh of relief.
Having worked full-time in retail since September, this has increased my confidence significantly. Who would've thought that I would be able to approach strangers and have conversations with them? I'm able to confidently communicate with customers and colleagues. Sure, I don't enjoy work and talking to people all day is exhausting, but the experience is so valuable. Even small things such as answering the phone used to be a struggle, but that is something I do daily at work. I've had people scream at me and refuse to leave the store until they get what they want, but that's retail at the end of the day.
The most important aspect is Mineplex. Through this network, I have been able to meet the most amazing people. For the first time, I love making new friends and having conversations. I can be myself and that is how I've been able to make friends. School made me assume that everyone was horrible and that I would never have friends again. Now, that is quite the opposite. When I left school I was afraid that I would never have any friends, but through Mineplex I’ve been able to make so many new friends. Talking to people on TeamSpeak used to be terrifying. I would start shaking and would refuse to go on, instead of making up some excuse. Now, I will happily talk on TeamSpeak and being a TMA has helped with this even more by giving me, even more, opportunities to increase my confidence. For the first time, I feel involved within a group of people and it’s the best feeling. It’s what I have wanted for a very long time.
My one goal for my gap year was to increase my confidence and my ability to communicate effectively with others. I think I can now say that I have met that goal. I don’t really know the overall message of this post. I guess it’s that things really do get better. It may take some time and it may feel as if that day will never come. It’s crazy how new experiences can just shape you a person. Overall, I have learnt that I can be confident and I shouldn’t let myself be defined by what someone else thinks of my personality.
Around this time last year, I came home from school one day to a rejection from one of my dream university choices. I had planned the next few years of my life there and I didn't consider any other options. Having gone through some difficult times at that time, that was my only hope. Seeing that rejection felt as if all my old hard work was just worthless. I had no idea what to do and I hadn't thought of any other options. I was on track to get good exam results and I felt as if that work wasn't even worth it.
Today I woke up to an unconditional offer from that very same university who rejected me last year. This is why you should never give up on your goals. You never know what is going to happen. I was going to give up. I was going to go to another university that I never would've felt happy at. It has taken me a year longer to reach this point, but it was worth it. Sometimes in order to reach these goals, you need to take what feels like the riskier option. It just takes hard work and determination.
TMA
I’m now a TMA! If you look at my wall post from yesterday then you will see that one of my goals for 2017 was to become a TMA. It is currently the first day of 2017 and I have already met that goal. I definitely didn’t expect this to happen so soon. Starting the year of like this is absolutely crazy. This has been such a big goal of mine and to reach it is just the best feeling. I don’t even know what to say right now because I’m so excited and grateful to have this opportunity.
I have been wanting to become a TMA ever since I joined the staff team. When this idea first popped into my head as a trainee, I didn’t believe that I could do it. At first, it took me a while to think of a sub-team I would excel in, but I truly believe that I have now found that team. Gradually as I have become more confident as a staff member, I became even more eager to become a TMA and it was all I wanted to achieve. Reaching this point took a lot of hard work and dedication in order to fully prepare myself. A large part of this was becoming more confident in myself. Also, I have significantly improved my communication skills and my ability to work well with others. Through being a community assistance member, my general role as a staff member and responsibilities in real life, I have been able to fully develop these skills and I can now apply them to the role of a TMA.
I’m extremely looking forward to the challenges I will face as a TMA. Additionally, I can’t wait to work with all current and future mentees. I really hope that I can help make the most of all mentees trials, make a difference, share my knowledge, challenge and help discover where we can all make a difference to the server. I’m going to meet so many more amazing people as a TMA.
Finally, I would just to like to give a shout-out to those of you who believed in me to reach this point. Even when I talk to players in-game and around the network, there are so many motivating and encouraging people. This is what I truly love about Mineplex and having the opportunity to further help people reach their goals and have an impact on this server really means a lot to me.
As some of you probably know, I’m currently on a gap year. If you don’t know what that is, it’s basically a year where you chose to do whatever you want before you go to university next year.
My gap year wasn’t planned at all. On exam results day I made the decision to take a gap year. You will hear stories of people doing such exciting things such as travelling etc. Instead, I decided to take up a full-time job. Going travelling and doing other things like that would have been a great experience, but equally, the experience you get from a job is invaluable.
Adjusting from having a 8:30 to 15:40 day at school with no responsibility to having a full-time job takes quite a while. Honestly, I’m still not used to it, but that’s okay. Working full-time is exhausting. The job I do isn’t amazing and if I’ve learnt one thing from my gap year, it’s to ensure that I do my very best at university to ensure that I end up in a job which allows me to fully utilise my skills and abilities. I work in retail as a customer assistant. I don’t particularly enjoy my job, but I make the most of it and realise the importance of it in helping me improve overall. It has taught me the clear difference between having a job you enjoy and one you don’t enjoy at all. Once you graduate from university and start looking for a job, a large number of people will have had no experience in having a full-time job for a year. Taking a gap year gives you that head start and allows you to adjust to working life much more easily.
Additionally, I have had to adjust to becoming more independent. When you receive the wage of a full-time worker, you can’t expect your parents to do everything for you. You learn to manage your own money and deal with things yourself. Taking a gap year allows for a gradual approach to independence rather than fully being chucked into university life where you are completely away from your family. A lot of people don't take a gap year as the majority of people just follow what everyone else is doing by going to university etc. If you have the opportunity to take a gap year then you have nothing to lose and I would highly recommend it to anyone considering it.
