The fact that I'm 20 next year scares me so much aha help.
I'm having a pretty chill birthday. Going out later tonight with my flatmates which might kill me a bit. Then tomorrow, Wooshii is coming over yayayayay. On Wednesday I'm going home which is super exciting ahh.
One more politics essay, psychology workbook and exam until semester 1 of uni is over.
I can't believe how quickly the semester has gone. I'm super excited to go home in a couple of weeks for almost a month. Then, it's also my birthday next week too. I get to spend my birthday weekend with Wooshii
which will be fun <3
Going back home is going to be strange. I've gotten used to being so independent and I feel like I have really changed as a person since September. I can't wait to relax and get away from the stress of uni. The month will probably be filled with shopping, eating too much food and playing The Sims. It will also be nice for me to be around family members for a while because I could really do with that right now. Although, I'll probably get sick of being at home considering that I don't even have my own room anymore.
Starting to feel like Enjin has had enough of my deep life posts, but hey here's another one.
In the past few months, I have discussed things such as uni being particularly difficult for me. One of the main reasons for this is that uni seems to have made my anxiety 100 times worse. Having to cope with being away from your family in a new environment is extremely difficult for anyone. Dealing with any mental health condition in this situation is even more difficult. I feel like I have just got on with it for years. Scared that I was just being stupid and that if I talked to someone about it then they wouldn't care.
I've had my fair share of anxiety/panic attacks over the years. They are not nice at all. They are horrible. During my gap year, I seemed to manage with it all okay and I thought I had made a lot of progress with it by myself. All of the stress of being at university has resulted in them increasing. I decided that I couldn't let something rule my life anymore. It has made me miss out on so many opportunities. At the weekend, I had one of the most horrible panic attacks in a long time and I've honestly never been so scared. Thankfully, I had an amazingly supportive person with me, shout out to Wooshii
<3
Today was when I finally went and actually got help for it and that is completely okay. It is easy to tell yourself that you can get on and deal with it. However, that is when it starts to hugely negatively impact your life. Actually getting up and dealing with it is incredibly difficult. It has taken me so much to do this. Turns out that it was actually easier than I thought it would be. Now I wish that I had done something sooner. I still have a long way to go, but it's a start.
You know what I love? Having to call the doctors 157 times to get through only to find that there are no appointments left. It's okay, I will just slowly die :joy:
I visited a doctor who took at test on me to assure me, that I did not have a tonsil infection. Two days later I get the infection but I'm too ashamed to go to the doctors. Their office just don't seem like a nice place :I
Can this month be over already please. I want to go home and not have to worry about millions of essays. Despite getting an A in one of my first politics essays, I got a C in my last geography essay. Pretty disappointed by that considering that I put so much work into it. I hate geography at uni so much. Good job that I actually like psychology. Now I have so much work to put into my other essays that I'm working on right now.
Welcome to the Uni life, I hope you enjoy your stay
(If that makes you feel better, you have my support - and my stress - to add to yours, so you’re not alone lol)
fuuuuck i feel u
my stress comes fro mthe risk that i wont get my first major prep course tonight... shitting myself. the spots are fuckign filling up.
thank god i have contact with the prof because he knows how much i respect his work and maybe i can get in from the waitlist but really, i couldnt sleep last night and im trying to do work to get my mind off it
world = clusterfuck rn. amirite?