AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
This is too much amazing to not share.

Session one of dnd thing. Group meets in tavern.
Ranger: "Why is he riding on your shoulders?"
Halfling: (riding on Elf's shoulders) "He can't talk and I can't walk."
Ranger: "uhh, okay."
~~
Group runs into a bunch of thugs extorting money from a guy.

Ranger: (he's the leader of the squad, although not the dm)"Okay, stay back and we'll try to take them by surprise. Eclorn, you take th-"
Elf: *Throws cloak to the ground revealing bright orange clothes and headband with metal thing on front, above which is spiky blonde hair. Leans forward, throws arms out behind, and sprints at 60mph directly into the thugs.*
Halfling: "Draws dual lances and obliterates a thug on one turn, damaging another one."
Thug: "What the-"
Thugs: *Pitiful mortal attempts to fight back. Can't actually hit piggyback duo because armor class combo.*
Piggyback duo: *Kills two more thugs.*
Remaining thugs: "RUN" *Tries to run but piggyback duo is twice their speed and kills their leader.*
Ranger: *Has been trying to shoot arrows but missed all but one the entire battle.*
Rest of party:

please
friend
me
on
hypixel
im
online
RIGHT
NOW

We're more than halfway there.
For every post after this until we pass them, Seddi will eat one apple.

I got a hypixel rank.
I bought it for one reason and one reason only.

I CAN PUNCH THE STAFF MEMBERS

Hey guys, remember that post about dnd earlier...

Yeah I found a campaign to do it in. Me and an irl friend have our characters ready. The rest of this post will be in characters.

We call ourselves the footprints in the sand. We fight together, and will always be there for one another. Even if one of us cannot walk, and the other cannot speak, we will persevere on and dominate. You cannot defeat us. We are the ultimate beings on this planet. EVIL SHALL DIE BEFORE US!
(if you're confused, the monk class gains the ability to walk across water and other liquids at a certain level.)

S: "I promise not to seriously injure or kill anyone."
Oof you're not gonna hear that very often.

Solwind: If I make them really really angry it will be funny
Elmir: Can we all survive please?
Feiniel: UgH i CaN't DrAw My SwOrD aNyMoRe.
Lorelei: What even is this anymore...
Lerion: *Quietly creating master plan to end existence as we know it.*
Seddi: *Getting entire separate story written about him while filching apples from some poor farmer's orchard.*

I got braces yesterday.
Orthodontist: "Do you want the colored bands? Blue is very popular."
Mom: "Yeah blue would be nice!"
Me: "Blood red."

They match my contacts perfectly.

I have created an abomination.

DISCLAIMER: This did not count towards my school credit.

---

Math: "Find the sum of all positive whole numbers x such that 2x-7 < 21."
Me: Computer: "91"
Me: "91"
Math: "Correct!...To add them up efficiently, we can pair most of them off..."
Or we can just you know, cheat and do it even faster.

You are going to watch this on pain of death. All of you.
TECHNOPLAAANE

StreudelKitty224 Song for you.
https://open.spotify.com/track/6SMiSNJC5IG0je2GtdBno4?si=aZC2v2_rQFGkif_YMPw77A

Ruralair should not be allowed to make custom swords.
Cody half demon wraith sword incoming.

Ruralair's brain has maked a the big bad evil.

Soo in D&D, (5e) you can ride another creature into combat if it is one size larger than you and there is a way to ride it.
There is also a feat called Mounted Combatant that gives you advantage on attack rolls smaller than your mount as well as some other mounted combat buffs. This doesn't seem too OP yet does it? Well, not yet.

Now let's say that you have two players who consent to ruin the game for everyone else. Nerfshooter101 , ruralair cough cough.

Player one rolls up a Wood Elf monk. Fleet of foot modifier for better speed and dexterity increase are important. Monks also get a speed increase depending on their level. Important stats for this character are Dexterity and Strength. The size of Elves is medium, but it helps to make this one slightly taller than average.

Player two rolls up Stout Halfling paladin who is the best of friends with said Wood Elf. Important traits from this build are small size, on good terms with Elves in general, increased Constitution, and all armor/weapon proficiency. Paladin also specializes in melee damage and healing which is a big yes. You can switch out the Halfing race for a gnome if you want, just make sure to figure out why an Elf and Gnome are friends. Oh, and for weapon of choice, go with a lance and shield if you can.

Can you tell where this is going yet?

Now we start the fun bit. Before combat, the Paladin dons his heavy armor and shield. Then he gets up in piggyback position riding on the shoulders of the Wood Elf. Once you reach level 4, get the Mounted Combatant feat. Also try to get a custom military grade piggy back harness to keep the Paladin from falling.

The Monk focuses on speed with the Fleet of foot feat. Monks have so many mobility traits that I won't list them all. The best two are the one where they run on liquid for a short period of time, and the one where they can move vertically at the same speed they would move horizontally. Recommended Monastic Tradition is the Way of the Open Hand for buffed unarmed attacks. Monk speed boost doesn't come into effect if you are wearing armor or using a shield/non monk weapon, plus they get all these fun negative effects they can inflict with unarmed attacks.

Okay, now for a combat situation. If permissible by DM, Elf Monk chooses to go directly before Paladin in initiative order as an independent mount.

You now have a combination super-soldier. Monk runs around at sonic speed punching things and inflicting rude effects such as knockback, knocking them down, or stunning them to prevent reactions for a turn. Paladin smites everything they can using a reach weapon. At level eight, Paladin can choose the Dual Wielding feat and dual wield, oh I don't know, maybe two lances for an average of 12.5 weapon damage per attack.

You may be thinking to yourself, "But ruralair, the enemies can just attack Elf Monk causing the rider to fall off. Failing that, they could try to kill him first so Paladin is stranded with heavy gear and weapons that only work well when mounted."

This would be smart, if I hadn't already thought of it. Remember earlier when I said the Paladin should get the mounted combatant feat? Mounted combatant allows you to instantly redirect any attacks directed towards your mount to yourself. This is why Paladin has to have heavy armor. He's taking all the whacking instead of speedy Elf.

"But they could just shoot the Elf Monk."

One, dexterity to dodge, two, monks gain the ability to reliably catch projectiles at level three.

---

There is no word to describe how I feel after putting so much work into this research. An emoji will suffice.

Nerfshooter101 we are so going to do this but not to kitty. I'll be the monk.

hApPy NaTIoNaL fRiEnDsHiP dAy